The dream opens, and I’m shooting the breeze with Ken, LSU coach Les Miles and Todd Graves, founder of Raising Cane’s. We were at the RiverCenter, resembling the Superdome, filming “in-studio” segments for MyScene TV. Naturally, we were waiting on our reporter, who’s often late. Todd stepped out for a bit, which led to Les talking mad crap about Raising Cane’s profits, etc., undermining the hell out of them. I tried to order some Cane’s from a vending machine, looking for the Box combo, but I hardly recognized the menu, much less the menu item…which hardly looked like the real Raising Cane’s chicken.
Todd quickly returns, joking, “Y’all talkin’ about me?” Les nervously denied. Before I could ask about the menu, we jump cut and I’m with our reporter at the river about to film her segments. For whatever reason, it was dark and hella foggy outside. It was also on the cool side, with the reporter in a sleeveless black and grey dress, and me in my black hoodie. We’re looking for Ken, and I spot him unloading some equipment from his boss’ truck—it was his silver Chrysler in reality.
Like in real life, passers-by stopped us, asking if we’re filming a TV show; I had Ken’s camera and mic. As our reporter took #selfies with the people, I spotted Him. He had on light khaki shorts, flip-flops and a turquoise shirt as he coasted the RiverCenter veranda alongside Les Miles in the most pretentious way. That’s when Les looked back, saw me and waved. I quickly erased my scowl waving back, only for Him to see me. I gazed for a sec before my eyes darted away.
Now I’m consumed in rage. As we were getting ready to film our reporter with the people—her request—He waltzed up. He came up just like he does, and stood there waiting for someone, namely me, to notice him. I ignored him for a split second before the reporter jumped in surprise, not knowing he was there or who the hell he was, and this clown had the gall to nudge his way through to scream, you guessed it…
“MY BUDDY JAVAN! I miss my friend! How the hell have you been?”
Jump cut back inside the RiverCenter, and he’s still giving me the same awkward, phony bear hug. But in this case, he was frozen. Like, he held his bearings for a good few seconds, staring away at the ground trying to push out a tear. Think: Danielle and Jacqueline—The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion season 2. Batshit crazy. This is when I basically told him that neither he nor his crew will ever see me again, and that I don’t do phony.
I smelled a slight stench on his breath as he tried to reason with me. But his aging minion tried to jump in and defend him. Ultimately, I told them both where to go.
And they did.
Just as I thought I was finished, one of his “worker-minions,” tried to get violent with me. About three people were in the same half-lit meeting room watching this go down. She began to rush me, and I cussed her, throwing her face-first over a folding table and chairs yelling, “I’ll knock you on yo’ ass!” just as my grandmother would. She didn’t wake up, and the three spectators even cheered me on…then I woke up in time for the 12:00 news.
MyScene TV returns for it’s seventh season on October 3rd, and the show is a major priority, something I value dearly. In doing the show, I’ve met some pretty well known people in the city, from entertainers, to businessmen, to politicians, hence Todd Graves and Les Miles, who I’ve never met in real life. In the dream, the smack talk behind’s Todd’s back was in line with things I see on the regular. I often viewed people like these as gods—I still do, to a degree—only to get a tad annoyed when ‘their human side comes out.’ There can be a lot of competition and fakery, which is how I interpret the Raising Cane’s vending machine ordeal. Consequently…
The scene outdoors is a manifestation of what happens in real life—am I going to run into ‘them?’ What will happen? How?! The mood was described through the weather, even as a reference to “cloudy judgment.” In some ways, it’s like I’m looking for a fight as a mode of closure. I’m open with the fact that I’m still holding on to things going back to childhood, as well as my brief stay in Atlanta, hence this nagging hostility that’s finally made its way into my sleep after exactly one year, damn-near to the day.
Anecdote: eight months later, May 2015, I arrived downtown for a shoot, but had to use the bathroom. While parking, I saw one of the minions, ‘the talent,’ as I call them in real life, leaving the Shaw Center. Their performances are based there. Wanting the last word, I barged in smelling blood. But then I cowered a bit because this is not me. That’s when one of them wailed out, “JAVAN!!!!!” In a red tee and pounds lighter, this talent literally ran up to me, hugging me and whatever, before shrieking about how they haven’t seen me in a year.
But I’m fair-minded and was willing to give it a second shot. That’s when I chose to blame myself for the distance as a cover-up, rather than…picking a fight. The talent led me to a back room, where He was cleaning up from rehearsal. The way He approached me, His shock as I came through the door, was similar to the awkward hug in the dream.
“If I re-friended y’all on Facebook, would you be mad?”
I blamed it all on an incident last July with someone none of them are even friends with anymore. But I’ve never had an argument with any of them, though, which is why many I talk to about this don’t understand my anger.
But since then, it was the same phony, exclusionist bullshit from before, only acknowledging me when it was convenient, hence me cutting them all out once again shortly after my 26th birthday. I still see these people out and about downtown, but we’ve never actually crossed paths. We’re talking, like, feet and a piece of glass away. #EndAnecdote
Back to the dream, He is a light-skinned fella, freckles, age 32, about my height—maybe a little taller. But he and his friend were towering over me in the dream. You see, I’ve known Him, his friend and others loosely since 2009. But the instances since 2014 were the only times I’ve actually gotten to know them. For some reason, I always picture certain people being much taller than me, when they’re actually my height, slightly taller or much shorter. I’m 5’9”, by the way, but I guess this has to do with self-value when reflecting on certain situations, as evident in the dream.
Now, I’ve never been close enough to this fool to smell his breath, but in the dream, I’m taking the stench as bad word, that nothing He says is genuine. Like, you can’t call me ‘awesome’ or whatever, when you haven’t even taken time to get to know me. I blatantly am, but still. On a visit to New Orleans “for my birthday” last year (they were already going down there, and He chose to lump me onboard so he can look good…his usual thing with people) he asked from the front passenger seat, “So how is my new friend…it’s Juh-vawn? Shavaun?”
Stuff like that.
By the way, thanks for $10 in cover. I’m indebted to you… #Sarcasm
His friend in the dream served the same purpose as in real life, but the talent who attacked me won a beauty award out here a few months ago. I’ve never met her in person, but He and his crew love her. I always called her by her character’s name in one of their shows. I guess she represented the countless people who come to bat for this guy when it comes to me, doing it in ways as if they’re trained and programmed. What’s that analogy: drinking the Kool-Aid? That’s why the exchange was physical, with such rage behind it on my end. So naturally it happened in a large, dimly lit room with few people to see and believe it.
The reality of this goes a lot deeper.
I wake up.
P.S.: The words in red was our last text almost a year ago. Verbatim.
BEST. DREAM. EVER. Too bad it was just a dream. :-\
— JAVAN H. (@JJLucasH) September 23, 2015
As a producer and designer in the Baton Rouge media market, I invite you to check out the new virtual set I created for ‘MyScene TV,’ a local lifestyle show returning to WAFB/WBHX 16 Saturday, October 3rd and 4:30pm. In addition, I produced segments for ‘BRCC Today,’ a talk show airing Fridays at 5pm on Metro21. Episodes are available for both on the linked YouTube pages. Please read my other blogs, follow me on Twitter and check out my work on here, YouTube and SoundCloud.