She Believes in Marriage Equality, Too (Just Not in An Way That You’d Think)

The symbol of the moment, the (unofficial?) avatar for marriage equality supporters.

As stated in my homepage, I’m from a large New Orleanian family. We’re very open and hospitable to everyone we meet, no matter your sex, gender, creed or orientation. But after all, we’re a Black family from the South who grew up in the church. Because of that, I always got nervous watching news coverage of gay rights and marriage equality when members of the older generation were in the room. Well, today that nervousness has ceased. She’s an outspoken Black woman over fifty who doesn’t have a problem with gay marriage. It came from her mouth–she literally doesn’t care!

I’m referring to this relative as pronoun for my own reasons, so please respect that. Her take on the gay marriage debate is simple: “As long as they’re not harming me, I don’t give a fuck each way! If they want to get married, let ’em get married! Shit, [the court and the lobbies] over there trying say who can and can’t get married–what they need to do is something about them fuckers killing them babies! That’s what they need to do! Worried about married and stuff [sic].” It’s just her old-school brutal New Orleans honesty that I’ve grown up to in all of my 24 years–it’s all why we love her. Either way, she’s the one I was most nervous about.

Marriage equality is very sensitive to me because while I never, ever plan to get married, every single person in this nation deserves the right to marry and have their unions recognized, and the government needs not to tell grown folks (or teens, in many states) who can and can’t marry. Aside from that, my relative is devout in the church, so while she shows hospitality to people who are gay, I was very afraid she’d have a stance against marriage equality. But as she made clear, let ’em marry! I agree, and so does her household–all four generations.

Now, you likely noticed my caveat in the title which is in parentheses. That’s because she feels that the bigger debate should be for the sake of protecting kids and the world from predators and the mentally unstable with machine guns. To put it into perspective, as deep as I am into the marriage equality debate, she’s just that much into the debate for gun reform. At one point she says, “They get married, and that’s something that they’ll have to answer to,” likely implying what the Bible says. But it didn’t sting like I thought it would because I completely understood her point. While she might not specifically support same-sex because of her religious beliefs, she clearly and simply believes that no one has the right to determine who can and can’t get married. I think it’s even safe for me to conclude that she looks at it the same way that many straight people do–shit, if we can get trapped in the Hell that is ‘marriage,’ why should [the gays] get off free? Let them suffer like us married folk do.

Follow me on Twitter and check out my work on here, YouTube and also Soundcloud. Toodaloo.

–Javan H.

Images used are found through internet searches.


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